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Bob Pickett looks at how to stay upright - this time, animate objects (or living creatures to you and me)

Last time, we looked at what to do when faced with an inanimate object in the road. The main factor in surviving that scenario was that these do not move (with the exception of the plastic bag). The situation becomes more complicated when faced with an "animate object", or to put it another way, a living creature.

Suddenly, you are faced with something that relies on it's instincts. And once it's "flight or fight" instinct kicks in, it is going to react to survive. Usually explosively. So now you're faced with something heading who knows where and you've got to avoid hitting it. But how?

The US police bikers are told if it is small, then ride straight ahead and over the top of it. Personally I'd rather use this as a last resort. Police bikes carry quite a bit of weight so they're more anchored to the ground. Can you say the same of your wheels? With bikes becoming lighter and lighter, this might not be a safe option.

Instead, if you know how the creature thinks, then you're much better armed to take evasive action. Remember, the action they take is based on thousands of years development of their instincts. As ever, know your enemy and you're much more likely to come out of this in one piece.

First off, if you do have time to scrub off some speed, then do so. If you can slow down, then you're giving yourself more time to think. This also means that you're not heading into the animal's "fear zone" quite so quickly - there is a distance for every animal that they use to judge a potential threat - if you can bleed your speed then by the time their instincts kick in you'll be in a better position to work out what to do next.

Now you've slowed down a bit, just what is it you're coming up against? This is a significant factor in deciding which way to go, aim for the front, aim for the back or head straight on. Here are some general groupings:

Domestic cattle

We're mainly talking cows and sheep here. Due to the influence of man, these have had their instincts dulled by years of selective breeding. So there is a good chance they might not move at all. But, if they do, neither of them really like going backwards, so they will have a tendency to run forwards.

Solution: aim for the back - even if they don't move, you're not running the risk of crossing into the other lane. If they do set off, then they'll most likely want to run away, so forwards is where they'll go.

Wild cattle

This includes deer and the like. They rely on one thing and one thing only to survive - their speed. Once off and running, they will carry on in the same direction, so there is little chance of a last-minute change of plan affecting you.

Solution: aim for the back - if nothing else, if you're faced with a stag, then this will also take you away from their antlers. With luck by the time they might consider standing up to you, you'll be well past and on your way.

Horses

The initial reaction of a horse is to leap about from side to side. Unlike a lot of animals, they've got two things in mind; firstly to get away from trouble and second, to defend themselves. Their defence lies in their hooves. If they can get the predator (you) in range of their rear hooves, then they WILL kick you with them - and you do not, under any circumstance, want to be kicked by a horse!

Solution: aim for the front - there is still the risk of them rearing up and trying to use their front hooves, but it is the back legs that carry the real threat.

Rodents

This includes mice, rats, squirrels and the like. Truly wild and all of them rely on their speed and lack of size to get themselves out of trouble. Their natural instinct also tells them to go to ground, where the larger beast cannot get to them. So they are likely not to run in a straight line, but veer sharply from one side to the other until they can find somewhere to hide.

Solution: aim straight ahead. Being very small, this is the only category I'd ever suggest anyone takes the risk of hitting - but bear in mind what was said in the opening to this article.

An exception to this rule is the hedgehog. Most of them will still roll into a ball when faced with danger, but there is documented evidence that more and more are reacting to headlights by running across the road. So either side will usually do, but aiming for the back might well be the best option, just in case you do come across one of the new breed of "headlight aware".

Cats, Dogs and Foxes

When frightened, all three will behave in a similar manner, being distant relatives, but there are one or two variations.

A cat will put their head down and run as hard as they can.

Dogs will, if scared, put their tail between their legs and then run away, but they might just turn back and try to attack you from behind.

Foxes will run, but again their instincts tell them to try to find somewhere to hide, so they might just vary their line.

Solution: head for the back - all three will start off by running away from you, but the fox might veer off suddenly and dogs, being dogs, may well suddenly decide to get a little retaliation in! One other thing about dogs, they are prone to deafness (they rely on sight and smell as their main senses), so a hoot on the horn will give the little so-and-so's a chance to react.

Pheasants

If you're unlucky to come up against a pheasant, then the best bet is prayer! Their defence mechanism tells them to explode into action, but with no set direction (being based on the avoidance of being caught by a leaping feline). If you can come to a stop well before you get near one of these suicidal creatures, then it really would be the best bet.

Solution: bleed off as much speed as possible, then pot luck as to which way you go.

The most dangerous of all

Is without a doubt, Man. Mankind doesn't react like anything else on the planet, mainly due to our reflexes being dulled by years of being the dominant one in the food chain. But there are still a couple of general factors to take into account.

Very young children will probably stand still when panicked. Not having had the chance to use their brains much yet, they will still be influenced by the instinct to stop so their parents can protect them.

Solution: aim for the front

A bit older and heading on into the early teens, they'll run. All kids reach an age when they run everywhere - and this will include away from a threat.

Solution: aim for the back

Adults? Hard to predict, but often they will stand still, looking befuddled.

Solution: aim for the front and swear at them as you head past!

Older people (and remember, we are as a species living way beyond what we should) may be deaf, slow and totally unaware of traffic speed.

Solution: try to bleed the speed and head for the front - even if they are still moving, it won't be too fast, so fingers crossed!

Man is also dangerous for another reason, known all too well to the biker - they can get into a car and pull out from a junction, or change lane without any warning.

Solution: Brake! This will buy you a little time. Don't grab frantically at the anchors, you still need to be in control of the bike. Remember the emergency stops we were all taught back in our CBT days? Well now is the time to put it into practice! Then head for the front. If the driver does suddenly realise you're there, his most likely instinct is to haul on the anchors. With luck, this will give you a bit of room to head past. Even if it doesn't, then you're better off rolling over the bonnet than catching the car in the middle - complete with the protective cage that modern cars are fitted with.

And the latter come from experience - by rolling over the bonnet, I got up in one piece. If I'd hit it in the middle, then I probably wouldn't be here today to tell the tale.

In summation

No matter what you come up against, try to give yourself a little more time to assess the situation. Always keep relaxed - tension stops the bike from handling properly (try riding at slow speeds with stiff arms and you'll see what I mean). Look for the escape route - if you are looking at it, then your bike will follow your lead.

Keep this little lot in mind, and hopefully you'll be able to get out of most situations with no more than a good tale to tell down the pub afterwards.

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