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HARRY POTTERER AND THE (NOTSO) ALL-SEEING EYE
(With even more apologies to J.K. Rowling)

Bob Pickett spins another magickal yarn of our undersized biking wizard...

Following his slide along the floor, (not so) young Harry Potterer took the advice of the Very Tall Man and entered into training with the IAM, under the careful tuition of their Head, Professor Tumbledoff.

During this time, Tumbledoff taught Harry the mystical ways and movements to truly wield the R1, such as "One down, Five Up, left hand side" and "Two down, wrench it open", not to forget the all important "Lean towards the bend and follow your eye".

As time went on, Harry became adept once again. And Tumbledoff saw this and decided it was time for Harry to launch onto the road. But before he did, Tumbledoff took him aside for some sage words of advice.

"Remember, Harry, the road is a different place now to when you became a biker. There are perils, the likes of which you have never seen"

"What do you mean?" asked Harry "Surely those creatures that protected all are still caring for the road?"

"Ah, the P'Lice P'Trolls" replied Tumbledoff "They are still there, but their numbers have greatly reduced. The Powers That Be have moved their magicks elsewhere, lured by the promise of much gold and wealth"

"So what has taken the place of the P'Trolls?" asked Harry.

Tumbledoff looked sadly at Harry and said "The Powers That Be have devoted almost all their magicks into the creation of the All-Seeing-Eye - tall and yellow it stands, watching the road for the unsuspecting. Should they go faster than the Eye desires, then their riding souls will be taken from them for a time, or if they are lucky the Powers That Be will take heavily of their coin. But the Eye is cunning and has woven a spell on the Powers, forcing them to give it the coin and create more Eyes to serve it's evil needs".

"How terrible" gasped Harry "Is there anything else I should beware?"

"Mark you well the terrible Voll-Vo" warned Tumbledoff "It is a strange beast which plays to it's own tune and does not work to the rules of any other creature, but speeds and slows as it will, with no care and less sight. Stare too long at one of these terrible beasts and you will be sucked within to power its unseeing, uncaring path along the road. Shrunken, almost blind with a strange flat cap placed upon your head, you will be forced to power the creature, despite being totally unfit for the purpose".

With these dire warnings ringing fresh in his ears, Harry ventured once again onto the road.

For a time all was well, when suddenly, with no warning, a strange, heavily armoured beast moved across his path, barging others out of the way with no concern for their lives, then dropping speed from a surge to almost nothing at all, despite there being no reason to do so. It was a Voll-Vo!

Harry's instincts, so carefully nurtured by Tumbledoff, kicked into action. He used the mystic mantra of "Two down, wrench it open", followed by "Lean towards the bend and follow your eye" as he desperately forced his gaze away from the Voll-Vo. "I'm going to make it!" thought Harry with relief.

But his relief was all too short. Suddenly there was a blinding flash and Harry realised with horror he had been captured by the All-Seeing-Eye! Sitting yellow and evil upon it's fetid tower, the Eye had captured him passing the Voll-Vo faster than it allowed.

If only Harry had not needed to avoid the Voll-Vo, he would never have been exposed to the Eye.

Moral: There are many evils on the road, but only one of them is considered by the Powers That Be.

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