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Bob Pickett tells a warning tale of how the best intentions can come undone when faced with a shiny, shiny thing on two wheels…

Over the years, I have written buyers guides for a number of bike magazines. Whenever I’ve been asked to do this, one of the rules I have always, repeat ALWAYS forced down the throat is; Wear your sensible head, do not be swayed by “Shiny Bike Syndrome”.

Sensible words, sensibly proposed and one hopes, taken on board. Logic, coldly applied, gets you a good deal. Of course, buying a bike is not a cold-blooded, purely technical exercise. Owning a bike is an emotive experience… which is how I found myself sitting in a bike shop, talking deals with a very nice salesman.

I’d taken my Fazer up to 22,100 miles. Which got me thinking – isn’t the next service pretty major? So I rang Yamaha UK (amazingly helpful people). Yup, the next service was at 24,000 miles and it was THE BIG ONE. The one when they check valve timings, tappets, thissets, thattets and everything(ets?). Labour hours – Yamaha say 5.5 – approximate cost? £350 – and that on the basis that everything goes fine and dandy with no extra bits and bobs (no pun intended) needed.

For the moment, the sensible head was being worn, but follow me if you will and watch it fall off and be replaced with kind of ‘logic’ that women have used for years when they say “I saved £50 on the dress, aren’t I clever? Oh of course I HAD to have the matching shoes and handbag… what did they cost? Oh £75, but don’t they look lovely?”

The journey of logic far away from me begins here “£350? Well that could go towards getting something a little newer than 1998, with a few less miles on the clock. I would have to spend it anyway, so might as well put it to good use”.

Logic sat in his chair, working hard and focussing on the task at hand.

“Then there is that £400 I’m owed – not as if it is sitting in the bank, so call in that loan and I’ve already got a decent little upgrade fund in place. And I’ve got some cheques through for some work I’ve done, that’s another £450 – nice, I’ve got £1200 to spend!”

Logic was starting to look at travel brochures…

“Then there is the trade in on the Fazer, with that little lot, should be able to get something pretty damn decent”… I happen to know people that put together price guides, so their opinion was sought and given. Sight unseen, but they knew I tend to keep a clean(ish) bike. They’d seen the photos in UBG 180 and 181 as well. Price set sight unseen… fine for Ebay, but not so much when you’re about to use a bike as a marketing tool! Rough guide? Maybe £2,000 to sell to trade?

Logic found a decent holiday and made arrangements with the travel agent.

For the teeniest of moments, Sense and Sensibility reared it’s head (sic). I discussed this with my wife. “Well if it gets you a better bike and you have the money, seems reasonable to me”. I have just discussed a major purchase with the half of the species to whom shopping is a biological need!

Logic cancelled the milk and papers, packed it’s bags and was in the back of a taxi to the airport...

The last straw – I checked out the local dealers used list. “2001 SV650S, 7500 miles… I love SV’s. I had an SV. Scum stole it. It has a v-twin engine. I love twins. £3400 but they’re about to drop the price to £3100? Ooh, well within budget!” The budget assuming the price of a bike before it is looked at by the dealers of course.

Logic was at check-in for the flight to Barbados.

So off we went. The SV was pristine and perfect, with just scrubbed in Dunlop 208’s. And I know how good they are – I ran one for just under three years (14000 miles on the clock) before vermin lifted it… yup, this will do nicely. I really did do the sensible thing, just long enough to check it over. But it really was in “just rolled off the forecourt” condition.

Logic, which for a moment had been held up in the departure lounge, settled back into the seat and took a complimentary drink from the stewardess…

So I got the Fazer checked over. “Good condition for the age, miles are a bit OTT (just when did 4,500 miles a year become universally accepted as “A bit high”?) and it is an import, which does affect the price a bit” So £2K wasn’t going to be an option. Glasses Guide tripped me up as well. “1998 Fazer, UK official bike, good condition, 17K, £1900, so about £1700 is fair for this one” “Hmm, I really can’t stretch to shelling out £1400 …”

Just for the merest of moments, a problem was discovered on Logic’s visa…

“…so how much can you bring down the price of the SV then?” “Well I could slice a bit off the top, how about £3K in total?”

“Deal”. Logic ordered another Pina Colada...

So thinking about the cost of the next service (£350) had turned into an outlay of £1300.

Logic started to see about getting an extension to the holiday…

But wait, what did that £1300 get me? A three year old bike, with 15,000 miles less on the clock than my last one (and under the ‘accepted milage’ of 4K a year at that) in perfect condition. Genuinely think about the fact that £350 at least was going to be spent on the Fazer and the ‘real’ outlay is about a grand. A grand for a three year old bike with 7500 on the clock? Not too shabby really.

Logic packed its bags and sadly checked out of the hotel…

End of the day, the reasons for buying a bike have to be emotive and personal – but if you keep the sensible head on at the important parts, you can still end up with a good deal. Or so I keep telling myself.

Should Logic be looking to buy an apartment by the beach?

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